


Love is the greatest help

by LumosZel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drug Use, F/M, Not for the faint of heart, Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, female!Sam, gradual build, male!Ruby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:28:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2691227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LumosZel/pseuds/LumosZel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel Novak knew 2 things for sure about his life.<br/>1) He had an amazing job as the head pastry chef for a local bakery near the Stanford campus.  The owners let him play around with recipes and create new delicacies that were a huge hits with the college students.<br/>2) He was utterly in love with one of these said students.  Samantha Winchester.</p><p>Warnings for rape/non-con, drug abuse, panic attacks, and a lot of crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is the greatest help

**Author's Note:**

> So for any of you who read my fic 'Give Me Love', this is essentially my plan for that story in a condensed version. The multi-chapter aspect of Give Me Love wasn't working for me, so I deleted it. I think this turned out better.
> 
> I have no experience with drug abuse, panic attacks, or sexual assault, so if you have any comments/tips on how to write that better or how I could in general write better, PLEASE comment below.
> 
> Also, if you think I could maybe pull off a sequel from this, shoot me some ideas in the comments! I'm thinking more smut...

Gabriel Novak knew 2 things for sure about his life.

1) He had an amazing job as the head pastry chef for a local bakery near the Stanford campus. The owners let him play around with recipes and create new delicacies that were a huge hits with the college students.

2) He was utterly in love with one of these said students. Samantha Winchester.

Sam had been his best friend ever since she had come to California. Gabriel had been a junior at Stanford, a poor student from a rich family that had abandoned him. Quite literally, a starving art major. Cooking and drawing seemed to be the only things he was good at, besides drowning in self-pity and depression.

But then Sam had appeared, a brilliant freshman pre-law student who somehow ended up on the completely wrong side of the campus on the first day of classes.

The first thing Gabriel had noticed about the frantic girl was her height, as she towered over him by at least a foot. Second was the extremely long dark brown hair that hung down to her lower back and blew in the wind. Third was the sheer beauty of this girl. She had broad shoulders, well-muscled arms, good complexion, and a sharp nose that accentuated her hazel eyes that had given him the biggest puppy eyes he had ever seen as she asked for directions.

After immediately hitting it off, the two grew closer and closer as the year went by. They were a perfect pair, with some opposites and some similarities, both with the love to debate things for hours.

The first summer apart was hard, but Gabriel worked so hard in the bakery that he managed to save enough to fly to Kansas for a few days to visit her. Sam’s older brother Dean and surrogate father Bobby both of course gave him the obligatory ‘you hurt her, she’ll kill you and then we’ll make sure that you roast in hell’ speech.   He had chuckled and stated that they weren’t a couple, to which obligatory eyerolls had been administered.

By the beginning of Sam’s sophomore year, Gabriel was beginning to realize that he liked her more than a friend. If they got into a tickle fight or even something as simple as Sam leaning into his shoulder as they listened to music happened, Gabriel began losing focus, being slightly turned on by the contact.

Of course, these problems of his didn’t go unnoticed. Both the Winchester siblings were rather thick when it came to feelings, and Sam didn’t notice Gabriel’s increasing nervousness as his love for her grew. However, Sam’s roommate and female best friend Jess was the opposite. She was incredibly tuned to emotions, and Gabriel suspected that she knew he was in love with Sam even before he knew himself.

Unknown to Gabriel, Jess knew that Sam liked him back. And it bothered her that Sam believed that Gabriel didn’t want her like that. Jess didn’t want to meddle in their relationship, but the eye-sex between the two was really starting to become annoying.

By Christmas of that year, Gabriel was about to burst, and he knew he had to release the pressure and man up enough to ask Sam out. But just as he was about to, Sam came running up to him, flushing with excitement. One of her fellow pre-law students, a smooth, womanizing, filthy-rich boy nicknamed ‘Ruby’ had asked her out. Gabriel had never seen her so happy, but he had heard about Ruby before. He warned Sam to watch out for herself, to which he only received a bitchface and a snort of “Stop being such an older brother, Gabe.”

It hurt. It pained Gabriel, seeing Sam with another person. But it hurt him even more that she gradually began ignoring his texts, refusing to get coffee with him, stating that she had homework when he wanted to hang out. He was slowly returning to his old, depressed self.

As he grew away from Sam, he grew closer to Jess. The kind blond knew that he could never forget about Sam, or stop loving her, so she instead helped him deal with the pain. She comforted him and encouraged him to turn the pain into something beautiful. So he drew. He drew numerous sketches of Sam’s hazel eyes, her face with its high forehead and sharp nose, sketches of pictures of her from his phone. And, surprisingly, it helped. He could take a deep breath now, continuing with his life without her.

Until one Saturday night a week before his graduation, Gabriel’s phone began to buzz, Sam’s face on the photo ID. Gabriel picked it up to hear Sam sobbing on the other end, begging Gabriel to help her. Her world was going black, her words of her location rushed with gasping of breath. Gabriel was out the door of his dorm the second he heard her first sob, demanding information of what had happened. The line dropped.

He found her in the alley next to a club. Her clothes were torn, her body uncontrollably shaking with cold and fright. He ran up to her, gently touching her hand so not to alarm her. Her head jerked up, her breathing ragged and her pupils so dilated that there was little hazel left. She shook even more, and whimpered, her arm spassing next to her. Gabriel picked her up bridal style and gently brought her to his car, whispering in her ear as she continued to sob and shake.

At the hospital, the doctors told Gabriel that she had definitely been drugged, with what they weren’t sure yet. Based on the torn clothing, she might have been raped. Gabriel sank down into his chair, holding his head in his shaking hands, holding back his own tears. He should have been there for her, he should have protected her.

When Sam woke up, Gabriel cautiously entered her room and sat down next to the girl, who was staring at her hands in shock and fear. For a 6’4” girl, Gabe had never seen her look so defenseless and small. He gently touched her cheek to turn her head, and she jerked it away, looking at him with wide and scared eyes. Gabriel was about to cry, and managed to whisper “You know I would never hurt you.” She looked at him for a long time before letting him carefully and lightly hold her hand on the bed.

“Gabe…,” she whispered.

It was like that little thing let the dam loose. She leaned her head on his shoulder and began to cry, choking out the story of what had happened.

As her relationship with Ruby had developed, at a far faster rate than she wanted, he became pushier. He forced her to see Gabriel less and less, pushed her to go further sexually with him, pushed her to begin drinking and doing some drugs. She had always told him no when he wanted to actually have sex, wanting to take things slower. On that night, the couple had gone to a club, where Ruby had slipped a drug into her drink, dragging her outside, where he tried to rape her.

Whether it was lucky or not, he had underestimated the effect of the drug on her huge form, and Sam remained partially aware of her surroundings, managing to get Ruby off of her and send him running before calling Gabriel. By the time Gabriel had gotten to her, the drug had gotten further into her system, causing her uncontrollable shaking.

As she finished her story, Gabriel stared at the clean white walls of the hospital room, wanting to punch holes in them. Sam finished and buried her face into his shoulder. Still staring at the wall, silent tears began to flow down Gabe’s cheeks. He turned his head and looked down at the girl he loved. He was going to be there for her. He had to.

As the weeks and then months went by, Sam improved. Gabriel was so proud of her. She was strong and stubborn, determined to get better even if she was broken down. Even while she was home in Kansas for the summer, she was surrounded by a supporting group of friends who didn’t try to act out of pity for her, but treated her like normal and protected her instead. When she needed someone to listen to her, she always went to Gabriel, who made her promise to text him every day before she left California for the summer. Partway through the summer, he saved up enough money once again to go out to Kansas. The two would sit on Sam’s bed, and she would lean into Gabriel’s side, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulder, making her feel safe and protected. He never pressured her to talk, but just held her and listened to her.

Once she fell asleep in this position, her head gently drifting onto his chest. As he stroked her silky hair, Dean walked by and glanced in at the two, smiling at them and meeting Gabriel’s eyes. Gabriel smiled at Dean and then looked down at Sam, looking so calm and beautiful in her sleep.

He had never loved her more.

And that’s where he was now. Head pastry chef at the bakery and hopelessly in love with Sam Winchester.

Gabriel sighed as he remembered everything that had happened, over a year ago now. He looked outside from the bakery window at the gorgeous spring afternoon, the new leaves sprouting and bright as the temperatures gradually warmed. Sam loved this time of year…

The bell at the front door rang, and a familiar duo came in, one tall and covered in flannel, the other petite and blond. Gabriel smiled as he looked up at Sam, who leaned against the counter with a sigh.

“What’s up kiddo?” Gabriel said.

“Not much, homework’s piling up though. Got anything sugary? I’m exhausted.”

“Look at you, buying something non-organic! I’ve actually taught you something! Though seriously Sam, you don’t need sugar, you’re already sweet enough.” Gabriel flirted with a happy smile.

Sam bit her lip and broke eye contact, looking down at what was in the pastry display. Gabriel knew she wasn’t comfortable with flirting yet, as it reminded her of Ruby, but the unmistakable blush that spread across her cheeks at the compliment made him feel better.

“What have you been working on lately, Gabriel?” Jess asked, amused by the flirting between the two. She had a plan for today. Sam was mostly healed from Ruby, but the last bit of healing could only be done by actually being in a relationship. Jess would make it happen.

“Well, I’ve just made my first batch of a new chocolate muffin recipe, you two want to try them?” Gabriel asked.

The two girls shrugged in agreement, and Gabriel retrieved two dark brown muffins from the display, handing them out.

“Warning though. You’re my guinea pigs for this recipe, so if you die, it’s completely my fault.” Gabriel jokingly warned, winking at Sam, who rolled her eyes and thanked him, walking over with Jess to one of the tables.

Jess sat down and stared at Sam expectantly as Sam bit into the muffin. Looking up at her, Sam narrowed her eyebrows.

“What?”

Jess sighed dramatically. “Sam Winchester, when are you going to ever ask him out? He obviously has feelings for you, you obviously have feelings for him, so come on!”

Sam swallowed shakily and set down her muffin, looking Jess in the eye.

“Jess, you know why I can’t ask him out. I can’t be in a relationship. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to again. Not after… what happened.”

“Sam, being in a relationship is the only thing that will help you, and you know that. You’re scared.”

“Yes, ok? I’m scared. I know Gabriel won’t be like Ruby, but I’m just… I’m scared that he’ll change. That he’ll realize I’m a worthless girlfriend because I’m scared of being in a relationship.”

“Oh god Sam, that’s ridiculous. He loves you! He’ll love no matter what and he will respect you no matter how you want your relationship to go.”

Sam sighed and took another bite of her muffin, speaking through the chocolately bits in her mouth.

“But Jess, I…”

“HEY GABE! YOU KNOW THAT SAM…”

Sam choked on her muffin as she dove across the table, grabbing Jess’s arm. Jess turned around, saw Sam choking, and quickly improvised, yelling towards Gabe.

“YOU’RE MUFFIN’S KILLING SAM.”

Gabriel shot up, tripping over something and running over to the table, cursing under his breath and with flour now all over his face and chestnut-colored hair.

“Shit, shit, shit, Sammo, you ok??”

Sam coughed and caught her breath, glaring at Jess.

“Fine…”

Jess chuckled and listened to Gabriel babbling about how he was sorry and such before saying,

“You know Gabriel, it’s ironic. Sam was just telling me about how she’s going to ask you out and then she goes and chokes on your muffin.”

Sam froze, staring terrified at Jess, breathing shallowly as she could feel Gabe tense above her. Realizing that her mouth was hanging open, she quickly grabbed her bag, slung it over her shoulder, and hurried out the door with a mutter somewhere along the lines of “I’ve got a lot of homework to get done.”

She could hear Gabriel calling behind her, but she walked as fast as she could down the street and into the nearby park. She couldn’t risk a relationship. She probably would never be able to again. Much as everyone else said that she was better, she wasn’t. She was scared of everything, everyone. Her chest began to clutch and hurt, and her breathing became frantic as her vision began to sway and darken. She had gotten a panic attack maybe once or twice after Ruby drugged her, but this one was stronger. She staggered to a tree and collapsed at its base, hugging her knees to her chest, shutting her eyes and struggling to breathe, wanting nothing more than for everything to end.

All she could hear was the ringing in her ears and Gabriel’s voice calling her name on repeat. She felt someone tugging on her arms that clutched her knees, but she only held them tighter. She wanted it to be over. She wanted it to be over. It’s all she said in her head. Over, over, over.

But then she felt a familiar hand graze her cheek. She felt the callouses and the rough spots tenderly touching her skin, and she opened her eyes. She was looking into Gabriel’s beautiful honey colored eyes that she had loved and adored since the moment they met. Like there was actual warm honey traveling through her veins, her body warmed up and decompressed. The ringing in her ears ceased, and she could hear Gabriel whispering “Shhhhh, shhhh baby I’m here, I’m here calm down. It’s ok Sammy, it’s ok.”

Her chest was still so tight, but she managed to get out a hoarse “Don’t call me Sammy.”, which made Gabriel smile with relief. He held her cheek in his hand as he quietly talked to her.

“Alright, Sammich. You’ll be ok. Breathe with me, ok? Breathe with me. 4 seconds in, 7 seconds out remember? In… Out… In… Out…”

Sam breathed shakily until the ton of bricks on her chest was gradually lifted off. She felt her heartbeat go down and sighed, leaning against the tree. Gabriel sat down next to her and watched her as she breathed, now fully under control.

“You’re not as fine as you say you are, Sam. You can’t bottle these things up, you’ll end up almost killing yourself anytime you get scared.”

Sam clenched her jaw before saying “Gabe I’m… I’m so scared. Of everything. I know it’s been a year but I… I just can’t…” Tears threatened to pour down her cheeks as she focused on breathing.

“I know sweetie, I know, but you can’t bottle these things up. You’ve got to tell someone. Tell me. You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Sam had a mini battle inside of her, knowing what she wanted to say so much. Jess was right, she needed someone to hold onto. And Gabriel was that person.

And Gabriel loved her.

“I love you.”

Sam looked at Gabriel, who smiled as best as he could and fought back tears in his eyes.

“I love you too.”

Sam breathed in slowly, digesting the thought that Gabriel had actually said it. He did love her.

“Gabe, I’m scared. I’m scared of everything around me, I’m scared of every emotion I feel, I’m scared of my entire future and the only thing that I’m sure of is that I’m in love with you. I love you so much but I’m scared of love and I’m scared of trust and I don’t ever want to let you down.”

Gabriel gently placed his hands on both of Sam’s cheeks while she talked, and pressed his lips to hers as she finished. He made it as deep as he could without pushing her, trying to convey as much love as was conceivably possible into one kiss. With some hesitation, Sam pushed back, moving her lips against his and leaning into him, placing a hand on his hip. Gabriel wound one hand into Sam’s hair and went a little further, licking the entrance to her lips and tilting her head as they both opened their mouths. Their tongues slid against each other and Sam whimpered a little before Gabriel pulled back, watching with awe as Sam’s eyes opened, their golden-green color wide with wonder.

He held their faces close together as he whispered,

“Don’t ever think you will let me down. I’m the one who has let you down. I should have protected you, I should have told you that he wasn’t safe, that you weren’t safe. I should have told you I loved you a long time ago and then none of this would have happened. I love you Sam Winchester, and don’t you ever think for a minute that you will let me down, because you are the bravest and strongest woman I know.”

Tears streamed down both of their cheeks, making Gabriel’s hand slick on Sam’s face. He moved that hand to her neck and pulled her in for another kiss, keeping one hand wound in her long hair. They stayed like that for a long time, gently kissing under the tree, never getting rough or needy. Sam knew that Gabriel loved her unconditionally, and Gabriel knew that Sam needed him, and he knew he could be there for her. Together, they were strong.


End file.
